Dear Aidan,
Lately life has been rough for us. You've been acting out and throwing tantrums for what seems to be the most ridiculous things. You don't want to wear your sandals, but really you do. You want to sit on the potty, but ok, not really. You want the truck, oh! but Alice is playing with the ball so you want that instead but no, she can't have the truck because you still want that too. You don't want to take a nap, but darn it you're so tired. It would be funny if it wasn't so frustrating trying to help you express yourself. I know that most of the time it's because you're frustrated or just tired, but sometimes it's very hard to remind myself that you're still trying to process this great, big, scary world.
I'll admit, I've been losing my temper with you a lot more than I should be. I yell right back at you, something I swore I wouldn't do after watching other moms do the very same thing with horrible results (worse tantrums, giving in so their own child would just stop, etc.). I've spanked you multiple times (I'm not against corporeal punishment, but I think I've been way too hard on you). I make mistakes every single day, mistakes that I'm not proud of. I'm trying, sweetheart, I really am. I know this is just a phase, and soon you'll be able to sort your feelings out better. I know that I'm going to miss you being this little. It's why I'm trying to start each day with a fresh start and hoping to end each night not feeling guilty for losing my cool with you. I love you so very much and just want you to be happy.
Love, Mama
